Six
Jay wove through the neighborhood, heading for Cedar Avenue, which would take them toward Ashley’s house. The five-year-old Honda wasn’t the hottest car in town, but it was reliable and in good shape. And, it had been his dad’s car.
He looked over at his younger sister. Two years apart, they fought like all siblings, but their love for each other had been evident. Jay broke the silence as he turned onto Cedar. “So when are you going to get your driver’s license, Vick?”
Vickie looked over at her brother and snarled. “I don’t know. And why do you care, anyway? I wouldn’t even have a car.”
“Hey, slow down. I didn’t mean to start a fight.”
“Look, if you don’t want to drive me, just say so. I can take a bus.”
Jay pulled off the street into a grocery store parking lot. He stopped the car and shut off the engine. He turned to face his sister. “Listen. This is me. I’m not your enemy. I’m your brother, remember?” Vickie remained silent, looking down. “Come on, Vickie. Talk to me. What are you so angry about?”
Vickie shrugged. “I’m not angry. I just don’t like people bugging me all the time.”
“I’m not trying to bug you. I just want to talk with you.” Jay looked steadily at his sister. “Vick, I miss Dad too.”
Vickie fussed with her fingernails, picking off chips of black polish. “It isn’t fair, Jay.”
Jay reached over and placed his hand on Vickie’s shoulder. “I know it isn’t. There’s nothing fair about it. But we have to keep ourselves together.”
She looked up and met her brother’s eyes. “Jay, do you believe in God?”
Jay hesitated before answering. “Yes, I think so. I don’t understand why any of this happened, but I think I believe in God.”
“Do you believe in Hell?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” said Jay. He looked out the window, watching a box boy collect grocery carts from the parking lot. “Not really. It doesn’t make sense to me that a good God would create eternal torment for people . . .”
“I don’t believe in Hell either,” said Vickie, brushing tears from her darkly painted eyes. “Because if there was a Hell, then God should go there for what he let happen to Dad. And if there is a God, then he’s a bastard and doesn’t care about us.”
Jay was startled by his sister’s outburst. His own agnosticism about certain religious views was nothing compared to Vickie’s angry assessment of the deity. “Jeez, Vick. Maybe you’d better hope that there isn’t a God. He might be pissed at you right now.”
Vickie laughed. Jay smiled as he saw a hint of his sister’s old self emerge, even if just for a moment. She returned to her fingernails. “I don’t know, Jay. I just feel really ripped off.”
Jay remained quiet for a minute or two. “Vick, why the vampire thing?” She shrugged a silent I-don’t-know. “I mean, isn’t the whole vampire story related to some idea of Hell?”
“Just in old books and folktales,” said Vickie. “The whole vampire culture is just about recognizing how dark life is. It’s just like a political expression or a protest against culture. It’s a harmless thing. It doesn’t have anything to do with sucking blood, except when freaks get involved.”
Looking at his watch, Jay said, “Oh man. I have to get to work.” He started the car and left the parking lot, returning to his original route. “Hey—there’s a free concert on campus tonight. You want to go with me?”
Vickie smiled and looked up, dark mascara framing her blue eyes. Her smile faded as a grayness came over her face. “No, thanks. I’m doing something with Ashley tonight.”
“Oh. Okay,” said Jay. “You’ve just started hanging around her, haven’t you? I, mean, she’s new, right?”
“Yeah,” said Vickie. “Sort of.”
“So what happened to your other friends—Allison, Kristie—you know,” said Jay. “Don’t you see them anymore?”
“Sometimes,” shrugged Vickie. “I don’t know. We just sort of drifted. Ashley’s cool.”
“So, is everything else okay?”
“Yeah, I guess. I’m just tired,” said Vickie. “I had this really weird dream last night and I couldn’t go back to sleep for a long time.”
“A dream? Was it . . . about Dad?”
“Yeah. But I really don’t want to talk about it,” said Vickie.
“Okay,” said Jay. “Maybe later?”
“Sure,” said Vickie. “Maybe later.”
They continued their trip in silence. When Jay deposited Vickie at her friend’s house, Ashley ran out to meet them at the car. As the two girls ran into the house, Jay observed how similar they were to each other. Not only did they wear the same kind of black clothing, but they were also about the same size—a couple of beauties beneath all the ugly makeup. He marveled at the corporate nature of high school individualism.
No comments:
Post a Comment